Self Examination


An evaluation of incompetence is used to support an industry dependent upon it, not the person being evaluated. An evaluator's results are determined by the examiner's means, motives and methods, and the outcome predicts nothing about what may develop. It might be better to use a system that has not been tested and failed, than to rely on one that has. Our faith in the practice may be all that's truly needed to heal. Please see: Transpositions.

When we act out of fear to determine if there's a threat in our environment, its because we have evidence of that threat to begin with. We're scarred by these kinds of activities when we're young, and our investigations are intended to prevent, identify, and control the threats we live with, whether fancied or real. It's not wrong to seek protection, or safety and comfort, though there may be difficult challenges to overcome while doing so. Feel free to review our Bill of Rights.

Evaluation Continued

Circa 1968
(See also: Transpositions (Second column, The Evaluating Mind)

For example: The tactile evaluation of a the glans of a circumcised male infant does not tell us anything about the capacity of the same individual when full grown, and results may reflect more upon the methods of the evaluator, or the evaluations themselves than the subjects condition. The response is not likely to have anything to do with the subjects will, preference or intention at a very young age, and while threats may not be determined, resulting harm may be ruled out unless growth is actually compromised by the procedure. Please see: Haptics in Biotechnology.

Nevertheless, physical problems need to be treated by physical means, and if the trauma is a learned response to what might be termed conditioning, ideally we would approach the systems that rely upon it in order to change standard practice, or consent to it. A therapeutic change in our lives results in rewritten genes. Muscle memory returns to normal patterned responses and functions, as do autonomic and/or sympathetic systems, such as the heart rate, and breathing patterns, but if conditioning is a sanctioned act - supported by government, religion and corporations bent upon profits rather than our own health and happiness, we can seek alternatives. Please see: Bodywork.

Poor guidance and direction result in resentment, spiritual disease, and dependency on drugs, thus supporting the industry that created the problem by denying the event, invalidating the witness, numbing the pain that informs us of our status. Drugs lead to further degeneration of sympathetic and autonomic systems, motor dyskenesia, and a lack of awareness as others try to help you disenfranchises us by impairing our ability to problem solve. Dulled senses weaken our ability to defend ourselves, and nothings been accomplished but a postponement of the work that needs to be done, and the disability of the heavily medicated. Please see: Epigenesis.

We can't always attend the meetings others go to, but we are taught to rely upon God. The program is very helpful for people with anger, and fear - or obsessions....anything that bothers us over and over again, and our goal is to overcome these problems. Some meetings provide opportunities for children to attend as well, but if you can't go to a meeting, we can also try to work with Law Enforcement to problem solve. Just be sure to do your homework first. Please see: Investigations, or Survival


Self Examination continued.

By writing about problems common to us all, like Anger, we can get to the source of our discontent, and find out what's really bothering us. You can use the following worksheets as guides:

Resentment Inventory
Resentment Inventory II

The same principles apply to Fear and Conduct. You can use these worksheets to solve these problems:

Fear Inventory
Fear Inventory II

Conduct Inventory
Conduct Inventory II

The pioneers of this program realized the cause of disease was inflammation, or the burning up sensation over 75 years ago, and reducing, or eliminating inflammation is precisely the purpose of these worksheets. By writing out what we're upset about and by disciplined practice of prayer and meditation we can overcome our own anger and frustration for next to nothing.

Instructions on how to do this is available here: Step Primer. Sometimes it's our only option, and even if we need to resort to professional support someday, we'll be much better prepared to do so.

There are suggested prayers along with the suggested questions to help you find your own truth.

Though the step program is designed for addictions, many of us have come to believe that managing anger may be a life saving strategy. Whenever life isn't fair (and it frequently is not!), and we have no choice but to live with injustice, there is no better way to deal with it. What we've begun to realize is that reporting the crimes may actually make things worse as you can see here in this example.

Events Relevant to a Hate Crime Scene in 1998

Keep a Log

It was requested by Law Enforcement that I keep a log. It serves as an example of how dangerous reporting has become to both the reporter - and the publisher.

Even if we protect your identity with anonymity, you can see how dangerous this has become in the log.

Prior History

1962-1964: The sex conduct of my parents ends their marriage.

1979: I bring up traumatic memories of their affairs to my mother and she denies the events saying its 'grey matter'.

1982-2012: I take my concerns about my family of origin and our shame based alcoholic family to therapy. Therapists and doctors for years to come keep pace with everything I am reporting here and much of what I have not made public such as unwelcome sexual advances we were exposed to and encountered in my Metro Area during the 60's and 70's while on the job as children.

1984/87: Placed in an apartment with an HIV infected person. When hospitalized by trauma, a biohazard sign is hung on my door. The resulting conflicts lead to an extremely negative diagnosis.

1989: My child is removed from her mother at birth in 1989. While trying to adjudicate parental rights, a witness at the county court said I would 'cut her ears off'. And, after returning from the hospital my partner (and my daughter's mother) told me that an Officer told her that 'white stuff' was reported to have been found on our child sometime during the hospital stay.

1990: Committed while trying to secure our daughter's return after the County removed her from her mother.

Dedicated Support


The value of this exercise is to show how to avoid becoming a victim of circumstances. If you review your log carefully, you will find what has merit, and what does not. While it is dangerous to publish a log, the value of keeping one cannot be underestimated!

1994: Sued for child support by the mother of my second daughter in another State's County Court by long-arm petition from a County Court at home.

1996: Am organized in boycott against a Hospital, resulting in the Hospital's closure by ending county based referrals for a wrongful death by using improper restraining proceedures.

1996: I get hired as a Peer/Self Advocacy Coordinator and begin work at facilities to bring Problem Solving Training and Peer/Self Advocacy to incarcerated Mental Health Clients, and the Gravely Disabled.

October 1998: I encounter a Hate Crime Scene while traveling back to report my daughters confessions of sexual conduct in her home.

Recent Events

  • November 2014: Working on reroutes for acceptable use of questionable practices as granted by the Complementary Health Care Act, which defines guidelines for the practice of Massage, Bodywork and/or Alternative Medicine: Please see: Bill of Rights
  • October 2014: Drug use in my apartment building results in conflicts with neighbors and building management. Because they can't admit its occurring without doing something about the problem, over a years worth of reporting falls on deaf ears. With winter approaching, there is nowhere to retreat from intoxicated people and toxic air.
  • June 2014: Accused of failing to pay the rent, Property Managers threaten me with eviction if I don't pay roughly two months rent past due within three days; rent that had already been paid.
  • April 2014: After spending roughly a year writing a mission to deal with anger and frustration in our community, establishing a place for the project fails.
  • February 2014: The sound of intentional noise, diesels, low frequency vibrations and switching in the furnace room become so difficult to tolerate its difficult to work or sleep in my apartment.
  • December 2013 - Present: Smoke from the use of drugs in an apartment upstairs vents into my bathroom. I called the police, notified the landlord, and talked to the neighbors myself, but the people involved were not legitimate tenants, and the violations continue.

Events Following the Hate Crime Scene Encounter

  • Fall 1998: Tried to reach my Daughter's family, and investigate the circumstances surrounding her allegations despite the resistance to my efforts by service agencies I used to do so.
  • Committed while bringing her confessions to bear - allegations of someone she thought to be her father, charges she made of someone when I was living out of State. I've never met her, though I made sincere efforts to do so with, and without agency support.
  • 1998/99: I reported anything that might have led to murder, retaliation or abuse - County by County - as accurately as my memory could provide, including:
  1. My work as a Peer/Self Advocacy Coordinator in the Health Care System.
  2. Reports I provided to the Mental Health System during the 80's and 90's before I left home.
  3. Reports I made to members of the Church, and Mentors including members of Anonymous Fellowships during the 80's and 90's.
  4. And other circumstances of my work and history, including work that might have been perceived as threatening, such as activism, or work for political organizations or interests, spiritual communities, and/or participation in civil disobedience.
  5. 1999/2000: Filed a District Court to resolve those issues and others though I was poorly prepared to do so.