While the 'water treatment' seemed unnecessary, it really put us in our place. We were made to go, and in no uncertain terms - had to. We were also made aware of how powerful such a small thing as a stop-cock can be!
Naturally, flooding the colon fills the bloodstream, so not only was one made to go at the time of treatment....as soon as you're relaxed enough to go to sleep, you'll need to get up and go again. "Oh, you've got to go, but you can't go there!" And with an alarm in your bed, you'll be sure to wake if you do! I believe we were perceived to be torturing ourselves.
So while the water treatment in particular wasn't a memorable event, we got involved in patients rights advocacy services, and worked on the right to be free from restraints and so forth. And others worked on the procedures themselves and debated the proper height for the placement of the bag: "3, or 5 feet above the patient?", etc. Privacy rules resulted so we couldn't be accountable for the practice, and all kinds of nightmares could be conjured up by the toddler who received the treatment.
To bemoan the discipline is to ignore the fact that if we don't learn self control, we will either get sick trying to retain our excrement, or diseased trying to live in it. And, just because we have these skills doesn't mean that we can teach them. Living with someone who either cannot, or will not faithfully practice sanitary behavior is as unbearable as being unable to do so for yourself. So while it may have been difficult to teach bathroom habits, it is well worth the effort, and being able to be account for these kinds of activities is essential to one who may not remember them clearly, or understand the motivation for them. Please see: Transpositions.
Its unfortunate that we cannot be artistic about efforts to recreate ourselves. As soon as we begin, we become a target of criticism about the value, or safety of the practices or procedures we use. Attacks as real as the attacks we suffered that motivated the need to change. The fact is, that much of our effort ends up codified in a DSM for profits, even if it is just a effort to defend ourselves from the judgements we already face. And, our children have already been taken by the people who used judgements and devices like these to exploit us.
It is here that the battle is won or lost, and it is here that information is used most effectively. However frail, and imperfect our efforts are to become what it is we dream we can be, the structure we build here provides a safe place to work on our vision, and investigate practical solutions for our problems. I am sure that we could not heal or conceive of what needs to be done without it, and upon reflection, the colonic might not have been such a bad tool after all.
The reality of our circumstances was denied in order to protect those who were incriminated by accusations we made, and practices such as these might have invalidated us, but had we been allowed to continue with our complaints, our accusations would have killed.
I didn't realize that the accusations I made were deadly when I spoke them, but I realize it now, and it comes as no surprise that the doubt that resulted about me because I provided this treatment taught me that lesson.
The increase of censorship and restraint in the world today also coincides with that lack of awareness that is so dangerous. Diagnosing despotism and rage as madness is also designed to do so, but is far more expensive.
Please see: Fascism and Censorship
"Since I am incompetent and completely undependable, I speak the truth, and thereby place them in a predicament that only the truth can extricate them from."
A man who for a long time has gone around hiding a secret becomes mentally deranged. His secret must come out despite his derangement, but his soul still sticks to its hideout. He remains present, and his disorder is healed because he believes nothing has been betrayed, and he knows everything that has gone on.
...So, he tells God, who by acquaintance with the problem can help him heal from his own judgment and return to his community with grace enough to enjoy the company of his peers.
Here, just as we do, Søren does 'the work':
Original Draft: "What I really need is to get clear about what I must do, not what I must know, except insofar as knowledge must precede every act."
(this is considered to be one of the earliest statements of existentialist thought)
"What I really lack is to be clear in my mind what I am to do, not what I am to know, except in so far as a certain knowledge must precede every action."
True consciousness is mind and spirit, and when in the realm of spirit, the self is divided. True consciousness is of three perspectives. Doubt frees the self from madness by opening up to spirit, making three: the self, observes the self reflect upon its self.
Because it is clear that as soon as I as mind and spirit become two, the observer makes three. The possibility of doubt lies precisely in that third which places the two in relation to each other.
Feel free to doubt what you think to separate yourself from entanglements and beliefs, but the formula for which there is no despair at all is: "the self relating itself to itself, and in willing to be itself, resting transparently in the power that established it". We must be able to live with our thoughts too, even if they might be inspired by that 'Other' point of view.
To deny God the truth is to abandon oneself to the opinion of others. Without confessions in madness, or what others might perceive to be madness, such as confessions before God, the opinion of others is all that God would really know about us. On the other hand, if God truly knows our difficulties, He will be able to help us.
Sadly, there is no God apart from His creation, and no forgiveness without His people. To continue to reject life because we made a mistake is a very serious problem, a condemnation of life, ourselves, and maybe even creation itself. To reject what God gave us and call it a failure, is to fail ourselves and the gifts we were given.
The most important work we need to do is to repair, or correct what God has revealed to us is wrong. Because it is God's revelation, the only way to resolve the failure is to regain His trust by doing His work.
Without His forgiveness, we cannot escape rejection and conflict. Not even by fleeing ourselves, or our friends can we regain the joy of life and living. We can only regain acceptance for ourselves before God by amending our wrongs, and correcting our unavoidable mistakes.
We confess our sins to God and one another so God knows us well enough to help us before He concludes that 'what they say' about us is true, and there's nothing more to us than that.Paraphrased ~Søren Kierkegaard
1. Dakini Shakti Malan PhD. 2009: 3 Minutes and 40 seconds into this YouTube video, Shakti Malan discusses the problem of treating a young boy with a colonic. Releasing Sexual Trauma